That Cheerful Chapeau

Principia Absurdia: The dissemination of blessed Non Sequiturs

327,376 notes

byron130:

18.05.2014I learned yesterday that when you see a bee on the ground that isn’t moving, it’s not necessarily dead, it’s probably just dead tired from carrying lots of pollen and needs re-energising. So if you mix a tiny bit of water with some sugar and let it drink it will give it the boost it needs to continue on its way. Bizarrely, this exact thing happened today! I found a knackered bee, mixed up some sugar water, gave it a drink and watched it guzzle and guzzle then suddenly come back to life. It was amazing! Thank you patrick, it was an excellent tip that i’ll never forget and will continue to pass on to others!

byron130:

18.05.2014
I learned yesterday that when you see a bee on the ground that isn’t moving, it’s not necessarily dead, it’s probably just dead tired from carrying lots of pollen and needs re-energising. So if you mix a tiny bit of water with some sugar and let it drink it will give it the boost it needs to continue on its way. Bizarrely, this exact thing happened today! I found a knackered bee, mixed up some sugar water, gave it a drink and watched it guzzle and guzzle then suddenly come back to life. It was amazing! Thank you patrick, it was an excellent tip that i’ll never forget and will continue to pass on to others!

(via theremina)

Filed under bee bees

294,333 notes

dual-destininies:

pixelgamer07:

dual-destininies:

derples:

dual-destininies:

tothejamjar:

tf2-fandomstuck:

tiniestshorts:

Bread knife

The french have grown more powerful. 

DEATH HONHONHON

Hold it!

Look more closely at these photographs, Your Honor.

Notice anything strange about the bread?

I didn’t either. That’s because…

…no cuts were made there in the first place!

The witness forged the photographs to make it look like they had an actual bread knife, when they actually did not!

How, you ask? Look to the second photo.

While it is quite obvious that the knife is penetrating the top half of the breadstick, I’m not sure about the bottom half.

Looks pretty flat, doesn’t it?

The angle of the photo makes it look like the knife is in the witness’s breadstick, whilst it is actually behind it. In addition, the cut was actually made after the first photograph and before the second. Continue to the third photograph.

It is also taken from a flat angle, as was the second photograph. I’m sure you’re finding something missing in this photograph as well, Your Honor. Where is the index finger’s fingertip?

This illustration explains it all.

While I am… ahem, not the best artist…

(Didn’t I go to art school?)

The index finger is hidden behind the loaf of bread. It is not wrapping around the loaf of bread. This is because…

The witness was making space to put the knife’s handle!

Objection

Are you really that dull, Wright? For a man who majored in art you should be able to recognize a sculpture when you see one.

as we can see from the photos provided, this is quite obviously plastic.

if you look at any photo of real bread it can’t attain that level of shininess, and even if it could.

If you’ll notice in this picture, the bread on the inside is quite shiny, as well.

Tell me, Wright, have you ever seen real bread gleam that much? Don’t answer that, I will.

Even in this high-resolution photograph with bread that thick, it obviously wouldn’t shine on the inside when it isn’t buttered.

And it isn’t too hard to find the item in question with a quick google search.

Oh, and if you will notice, their hand was covering the seam where the bread was taken apart in the first photo with a simple comparison of the pattern on the bread.

It appears your lawyering skills are in much need of some sharpening if you expect to cut me down with that weak objection.

Edgeworth, you’re asking yourself the wrong question. It’s not “is there bread like that…”

You should be asking “can there be bread like that?”

Sweet bread can be infused with sugar or a syrup, making the outsides shinier- and the insides sweeter. Take a look.

Furthermore. there are parts of the witness’s bread knife that don’t just match up with the novelty bread knives you have presented. Take another look.

Let me point out two things about the novelty knives: one, their markings, and two, the placement of the knife itself.

In the novelty knives, the marks are artificial-looking and repeated. That is because they are manufactured. In the witness’s photo, the marks are more natural and realistic- because they are, well, real!

Furthermore, the blades on the novelty knives are in the middle of the handle.

But… look back at the witness’s photo. The knife is to the left? Where is the problem, you ask? Look at this illustration.

Here we have the knife, a piece of bread, and a table. Let’s have a go.

I’m sure you see it now, Your Honor.

The bread knife cannot actually be used to cut bread efficiently! Even if it was tilted, it would be uncomfortable and unbalanced!

The defense has an explanation for this positioning.

The blade is to the left because the witness was holding it behind the piece of bread!

Oh my good- Please, for once can we please have a post without these idiots making a mess of things? Is that too much to ask? I beseech you, just go away.

 image

fuck off

(via thesociopathicphilosopher)

Filed under ace attorney bread phoenix wright miles edgeworth

788 notes

art-of-swords:

[ NEWS ] Forensic examination determines weapons used on 9th-14th century remains, Turin, Italy
In this paper, "Weapon-related Cranial Lesions from Medieval and Renaissance Turin, Italy", remains recovered from the Cathedral of S. Giovanni in Turin were examined to determine if they had died due to violent injuries (combat), and to attempt to identify the weapons used to perpetrate these injuries.
A total of 113 sets of remains were recovered, including 17 children below the ages of 14. Of the adults, 69 were male, 22 were female and 5 were unidentifiable. Anthropological examination of the remains allowed the researchers to specifically identify those exhibited extensive bone trauma to the skull and skeleton.
Two sets were from the early Medieval period (9th century) and the rest from the Renaissance period (14-15th century).   Except for two injuries, all traumas were identified as taking place perimortem (before death).
As the researchers note: "The aim of this study was to investigate these traumas from an osteological perspective, in order to better understand the patterns of interpersonal violence in medieval and Renaissance periods in Italy."
Defining weapons and the types of damage they inflict
The authors started by defining the types of damage they expected to see, and the nature of the weapons which would cause such injuries.
"Sharp force traumas are caused by bladed instruments, such as swords, daggers, axes and poleaxes, which produce linear lesions with clean well-defined edges and flat and smooth cut surfaces; blunt force fractures are produced by blunt instruments, including war hammers, maces and top spikes of poleaxes, which leave concentric or radiating fractures with an internal bevel; and projectile force traumas are inflicted by projectile weapons, such as arrows and crossbow bolts."
For sharp force trauma, direction of the cut was determined by the effects of the trauma:  if entering at right angles, damage would be equal on both sides of the cut.  If entering at an angle, the entry side cut would appear smooth, the stop-point would fracture/flake. Whether a fracture was caused by blunt weapon impact or a projectile weapon was determined by what side of the skull exhibited “beveling” fractures (internal bevels indicating a blunt weapon, external bevels indicating a “rhrough-and-impact” projectile strike on the victim’s skull.
The nature of the remains
The authors note that the two early Medieval remains were found in individual graves of a type reserved for the upper social classes of the time.  The Renaissance remains were all found in the same large grave, suggesting they had all perished in the same combat.
 Examination of the remains
The researchers then go into the details of the remains, were they were located, and describe any traumas identified on both the main skeleton and cranium, but focusing specifically on the skull traumas. This is because skeletal remains only allow for injuries reaching the bone to be identified.
Forensic anthropologists would not, for example, be able to assign a cause of death to a fatal soft-tissue injury, such as the heart being struck or a major artery being cut (at least one other set of remains buried in the Renaissance grave showed well-healed traumas; it may well have been that this person died of soft tissue injuries).
The analysis of the cranial traumas is extremely detailed.  Interestingly, several of the remains show old, well-healed traumas, suggest many previous wounds in battle. Traumas identified included (listed in order of remains being examined:
(Early Medieval) 7 cm long sharp force cut, with fractures indicating the attacker pulled the blade out of the wound with force;  followed by a cut indicating it was delivered from above, with the victim reclining.
(Early Medieval) 5cm long sharp force cut, shaving away the surface of the skull.  A second, apparently glancing blow would have likely have caused severe injury to the victim’s face.
(Renaissance) A massive trauma to the front of the skull indicates a blade impacting and removed with force.  A second, healed trauma shows signs of medical intervention from a previous wound.
(Renaissance) A diamond-shaped trauma on the right-rear of the cranium suggests a blunt force or projectile strike from behind.
(Renaissance) A beveled impact on the top of cranium suggests the use of a blunt force weapon or a projectile strike.  A second, larger trauma is indicative of sharp force, penetrating and forcibly removed.
(Renaissance) Multiple traumas, including sharp force blows and a projectile strike delivered with the victim both standing and on the ground.  The fatal blow is identified as a massive blunt force trauma.  Additionally, one long-healed blunt force trauma was noted.
What weapons caused the injuries
The researchers go into a quite detailed discussion of types of weapons and the nature of the traumas they inflict, quoting many previous researchers to defend their analysis. In the main, the results of the research resulted in the following table (click to view):

Why are cranial trauma so frequently found?
The authors then discuss why cranial trauma is so frequently found on the remains of those who died in combat, as both their research and previous researchers have noted.  While this seems a simple question, the authors seek to prove what is commonly held beliefs in these reasons through scientific observation and fact.  Most simply put, they theorize that:  the head was a main target;  that men fighting on foot vs. those on horseback must receive more head trauma simply by nature of their respective platforms;  that body armour was so effective it made the head a primary target.
Examination of the Renaissance historical record and conclusion
At least for the Renaissance remains, there were a number of historical records — dated to the same time as the grave — which suggests these warriors did not die in a major battle.  There was no recorded major conflict fought by Turin forces during this period.  There were, however, a number of city revolts and riots which took place.
Taking this fact into account, and the additional fact that the remains recovered included women and children, and that a number of the men showed previously healed traumas, the authors conclude: "Three sharp force lesions caused by bladed weapons were identified in two individuals from the early medieval period; in the Renaissance sample, the majority of the nine peri mortem injuries were sharp force wounds, followed by blunt force traumas caused by hand-held weapons. The lack of lesions caused by projectile force lesions and of post-cranial wounds at Piazza S. Giovanni was evidenced."
"Despite the presence of weapon injuries, the results obtained from the study of the Renaissance sample are different from the findings of other contemporary battlefields. It is highly likely that the individuals of the Renaissance age were not young soldiers employed in war episodes and brought back to Turin for burial after battles that had taken place elsewhere. As attested by some old wound, they were probably mercenary soldiers, who had died in riots or in other violent episodes that had taken place in the city, as the historical records for the Renaissance age seem to confirm."
[ READ THE FULL THESIS by Gino Fornaciari ]

Source: Copyright © 2014 Randy McCall | Academia.edu

art-of-swords:

[ NEWS ] Forensic examination determines weapons used on 9th-14th century remains, Turin, Italy

In this paper, "Weapon-related Cranial Lesions from Medieval and Renaissance Turin, Italy", remains recovered from the Cathedral of S. Giovanni in Turin were examined to determine if they had died due to violent injuries (combat), and to attempt to identify the weapons used to perpetrate these injuries.

A total of 113 sets of remains were recovered, including 17 children below the ages of 14. Of the adults, 69 were male, 22 were female and 5 were unidentifiable. Anthropological examination of the remains allowed the researchers to specifically identify those exhibited extensive bone trauma to the skull and skeleton.

Two sets were from the early Medieval period (9th century) and the rest from the Renaissance period (14-15th century).   Except for two injuries, all traumas were identified as taking place perimortem (before death).

As the researchers note: "The aim of this study was to investigate these traumas from an osteological perspective, in order to better understand the patterns of interpersonal violence in medieval and Renaissance periods in Italy."

  • Defining weapons and the types of damage they inflict

The authors started by defining the types of damage they expected to see, and the nature of the weapons which would cause such injuries.

"Sharp force traumas are caused by bladed instruments, such as swords, daggers, axes and poleaxes, which produce linear lesions with clean well-defined edges and flat and smooth cut surfaces; blunt force fractures are produced by blunt instruments, including war hammers, maces and top spikes of poleaxes, which leave concentric or radiating fractures with an internal bevel; and projectile force traumas are inflicted by projectile weapons, such as arrows and crossbow bolts."

For sharp force trauma, direction of the cut was determined by the effects of the trauma:  if entering at right angles, damage would be equal on both sides of the cut.  If entering at an angle, the entry side cut would appear smooth, the stop-point would fracture/flake. Whether a fracture was caused by blunt weapon impact or a projectile weapon was determined by what side of the skull exhibited “beveling” fractures (internal bevels indicating a blunt weapon, external bevels indicating a “rhrough-and-impact” projectile strike on the victim’s skull.

  • The nature of the remains

The authors note that the two early Medieval remains were found in individual graves of a type reserved for the upper social classes of the time.  The Renaissance remains were all found in the same large grave, suggesting they had all perished in the same combat.

  •  Examination of the remains

The researchers then go into the details of the remains, were they were located, and describe any traumas identified on both the main skeleton and cranium, but focusing specifically on the skull traumas. This is because skeletal remains only allow for injuries reaching the bone to be identified.

Forensic anthropologists would not, for example, be able to assign a cause of death to a fatal soft-tissue injury, such as the heart being struck or a major artery being cut (at least one other set of remains buried in the Renaissance grave showed well-healed traumas; it may well have been that this person died of soft tissue injuries).

The analysis of the cranial traumas is extremely detailed.  Interestingly, several of the remains show old, well-healed traumas, suggest many previous wounds in battle. Traumas identified included (listed in order of remains being examined:

  1. (Early Medieval) 7 cm long sharp force cut, with fractures indicating the attacker pulled the blade out of the wound with force;  followed by a cut indicating it was delivered from above, with the victim reclining.
  2. (Early Medieval) 5cm long sharp force cut, shaving away the surface of the skull.  A second, apparently glancing blow would have likely have caused severe injury to the victim’s face.
  3. (Renaissance) A massive trauma to the front of the skull indicates a blade impacting and removed with force.  A second, healed trauma shows signs of medical intervention from a previous wound.
  4. (Renaissance) A diamond-shaped trauma on the right-rear of the cranium suggests a blunt force or projectile strike from behind.
  5. (Renaissance) A beveled impact on the top of cranium suggests the use of a blunt force weapon or a projectile strike.  A second, larger trauma is indicative of sharp force, penetrating and forcibly removed.
  6. (Renaissance) Multiple traumas, including sharp force blows and a projectile strike delivered with the victim both standing and on the ground.  The fatal blow is identified as a massive blunt force trauma.  Additionally, one long-healed blunt force trauma was noted.
  • What weapons caused the injuries

The researchers go into a quite detailed discussion of types of weapons and the nature of the traumas they inflict, quoting many previous researchers to defend their analysis. In the main, the results of the research resulted in the following table (click to view):

War Injuries from Medieval and Renaissance Turin, Italy

  • Why are cranial trauma so frequently found?

The authors then discuss why cranial trauma is so frequently found on the remains of those who died in combat, as both their research and previous researchers have noted.  While this seems a simple question, the authors seek to prove what is commonly held beliefs in these reasons through scientific observation and fact.  Most simply put, they theorize that:  the head was a main target;  that men fighting on foot vs. those on horseback must receive more head trauma simply by nature of their respective platforms;  that body armour was so effective it made the head a primary target.

  • Examination of the Renaissance historical record and conclusion

At least for the Renaissance remains, there were a number of historical records — dated to the same time as the grave — which suggests these warriors did not die in a major battle.  There was no recorded major conflict fought by Turin forces during this period.  There were, however, a number of city revolts and riots which took place.

Taking this fact into account, and the additional fact that the remains recovered included women and children, and that a number of the men showed previously healed traumas, the authors conclude: "Three sharp force lesions caused by bladed weapons were identified in two individuals from the early medieval period; in the Renaissance sample, the majority of the nine peri mortem injuries were sharp force wounds, followed by blunt force traumas caused by hand-held weapons. The lack of lesions caused by projectile force lesions and of post-cranial wounds at Piazza S. Giovanni was evidenced."

"Despite the presence of weapon injuries, the results obtained from the study of the Renaissance sample are different from the findings of other contemporary battlefields. It is highly likely that the individuals of the Renaissance age were not young soldiers employed in war episodes and brought back to Turin for burial after battles that had taken place elsewhere. As attested by some old wound, they were probably mercenary soldiers, who had died in riots or in other violent episodes that had taken place in the city, as the historical records for the Renaissance age seem to confirm."

Source: Copyright © 2014 Randy McCall | Academia.edu

Filed under swords forensics history war renaissance

4,971 notes

unpretty:

thatcheerfulchapeau please confirm your country’s shameful lack of bagels and defend yourself tia

Bollocks. We Australians know what bagels are. They are sandwiches made of lies and deceit. Who wants a bloody sandwich with a humongous hole in the centre of it?! That’s less fucking sandwich for me to eat, and they expect me to buy into that con? Jesus Velociraptor Christ, woman. I’ll have a meat pie and some hot chips over a pissant bagel any day.

unpretty:

thatcheerfulchapeau please confirm your country’s shameful lack of bagels and defend yourself tia

Bollocks. We Australians know what bagels are. They are sandwiches made of lies and deceit. Who wants a bloody sandwich with a humongous hole in the centre of it?!

That’s less fucking sandwich for me to eat, and they expect me to buy into that con? Jesus Velociraptor Christ, woman. I’ll have a meat pie and some hot chips over a pissant bagel any day.

(Source: fandomanon)

Filed under food bagels are food extortion of the worst kind unpretty Australia